Why do so many of us struggle to build a long-term relationship based on mutual happiness and togetherness? Because we don’t have the education necessary to make it a reality!
When you embark on a career, you go to school and invest in your training. You work hard to learn the skills needed to do a good job – and you keep working even after you have the job to get better at what you do.
But when we are in love and subsequently get married, we assume that’s enough. As time passes, we find ourselves at odds and wonder why that love and excitement wasn’t enough to hold us together. Aren’t you supposed to have a happily ever after? How did these issues suddenly sneak into your marriage and make things so hard?
Here’s the secret we don’t want to acknowledge though – for most relationships, the things that become big problems over time do not just magically appear. If you look back at the start of your relationship, its likely those issues have been around – in some form – from the very start, but when you were in the infatuation stage with your spouse, they were easier to ignore.
Unfortunately, ignoring relationship problems doesn’t help, because they’re not going to go away.
It’s not because you and your partner don’t love each other enough – it’s because most of us simply don’t come into our relationships with the skills and tools necessary to thrive.
Want some good news?
Those skills can be learned – by anyone. And once you implement them in your marriage, you can turn a struggling relationship around or transform a good marriage into a great one. It’s a possibility for everyone – you just need the skills to make it happen.
That is what I do for couples. By utilizing the most helpful methods from a number of relationship education techniques (Gottman Training, Divorce Busting, CDC Divorce Coaching) and drawing from the wisdom of Judaism, I teach couples how to make their moments of conflict productive, heal emotional wounds, and draw closer together by developing a system of values and meaning that they share and creating rituals that help them to connect.
As an Orthodox Jewish woman, I am also able to use my background to help couples in the Orthodox community who are struggling – often in ways they never expected. I firmly believe that most marriages are salvageable, and I know that everyone is capable of having a great marriage. All it takes is the right tools and a willingness to fight for the happiness you both want!
Sara Freed, Orthodox Jewish Couples Coach