Remember what it was like to go on dates before you were married to your partner?
You got dressed up. You waited by the phone for the call. You sweated over all the big and little “mistakes” you made. And you felt a surge of joy when the two of you started to connect on a deeper level.
Everything was fresh. Exciting. Full of possibility.
Now that you’ve tied the knot and been together for years, exciting probably isn’t the word you would use to describe your relationship. Warm. Loving. Comfortable. Home. If things are going well, all of those may fit, and that’s wonderful!
But when we’re feeling “comfortable,” we tend to not put as much time and effort into something as we probably should. When this happens in a relationship, people start to drift apart. The “spark” goes away.
But it doesn’t have to. Want that sense of adventure, excitement, and newness back? As a marriage coach, I’ve seen how going out on dates again can deepen the bonds that brought you together in the first place.
How is date night going to help you do that?
You’ll get out of the house.
One of the best parts of date night is that you get out of the house! When we’re stuck at home all week, we are reminded of conflicts, finances, to-do lists – so many things that cause us stress.
Moving your relationship interactions outside your house gives you a fresh look at your spouse. Make a promise to leave your conflicts and responsibilities at home (and your kids with a babysitter). Reserve date night as a time for your relationship.
You deserve it, and you deserve to see your love with fresh eyes.
You’ll learn more about each other.
Is there really more to learn? You bet there is.
If both of you think you know everything about each other, consider this: every single day, we’re changing, growing, and evolving. Over years, people can change a lot.
Have you really communicated all of those changes to your spouse? Have they communicated them to you?
You can discover something new together.
A new restaurant. A movie you’ve never seen before. They seem small, but these kinds of things kick you out of your routine.
New experiences also give you the chance to learn something new about your spouse as well. How will they react to a surprise skydiving date? What’s your spouse’s favorite Japanese dish?
Be adventurous! Explore your world and each other.
You’ll get to spend more time in the bedroom.
The romance doesn’t have to end when you get home. Use date night as a way to stoke the flames of your passion, including what happens in the bedroom.
After a few nights out together, you’ll have a newfound appreciation for how great your relationship really is, so get planning!
Rooting for you!